Scattered Memories
by Saphire.rayne
Summary: Lillian has lost her memories due to an accident. Feeling at fault, Kana feels he needs to watch over her but his true feelings start to show and it scares him. Will Kana finally confess how he truly feels about Lillian or will he continue to hide it from her? What will happen when Lillian regains her memories?
1. Prologue

**I don't see very much Kana/Lillian fanfiction. I decided to write my own. It's small due to lack of ideas but I've been playing Amnesia and TOTT the past two weeks so I just decided to write something similar. Also, I know in game Hayate is weak due to age but I'm just going to pretend she's perfectly fine for the beginning because STORY! Anyways, hope you all like it! :3 Hugs to all my other Kana fans! He needs more love!**

~Prologue~

"I'll race you to the top, Lily!" Kana's auburn hair swims through the air behind him. He spurs Hayateand her hooves stomp the gravel beneath her. Kana turns his head to the side, catching his opponent in his peripheral view. Her face is concentrated on the road ahead, her hands clenching the reigns of her horse, Snow, and her body is bouncing with the rhythm of each gallop. Kana smiles devilishly as he picks up speed. The finish line was in sight, the landmark of a deck overlooking the mountainside inches closer and closer as he nears the summit.

He slows Hayate to a slow trot and cheers. "Once again, Hayate is the fastest horse in the world!" He trots around the summit, pumping one arm into the air. Silence follows once he realizes he's alone. "Lily?" He looks around but the farmer is nowhere to be seen. Hayate picks up the trot and the two head back down the mountainside. "Lillian?" Kana calls out but no response. As they near the middle of the mountain, he recognizes a blur of white, kicking and neighing near the ledge. Kana immediately leaps off Hayate and runs to the edge. He quickly spots a small body curled up at the bottom. Without hesitation, he leaps off onto a nearby tree and lands with a thud on the ground.

"Lily! Can you hear me?" He rushes to the still body. He notices her arm swollen and her body covered in scratches and redness that will soon become bruises. "Damn it!" Kana swears under his breath, racking through his brain for ideas of how he can safely get Lillian back to the village. He removes his vest and then his white tank top. He carefully places Lillian's arm into the tank top and wraps it over her opposite shoulder in means of a makeshift sling. He removes his hair tie and wraps it around both ends of the tank top, hoping to hold them in place.

Carefully and slowly he lifts Lillian up and moves up a gravel landside, one step at a time. He stumbles a bit, but finally reaches the top. He rests Lillian on the back of Hayate and leaps onto his trusty steed, wrapping one of his strong arms around Lillian, holding her close to him as he gallops swiftly back to town. 


	2. Who am I?

Chapter 1

 _Who am I?_

Eyes flutter open and a confused mind awakens. The young girl's head begins to pound and she forces herself to try to sit up but her body aches. Something heavy rests upon her bed and she strains her neck to see a head resting beside her, a hand resting on hers. The body stirs as she removes her hand and a tanned man rubs his eyes. She watches them go wide as he realizes she's awake.

"Dr. Ayame!" He staggers to his feet and rushes out of the room. The girl looks around, confused and scared. Where was she? Some sort of hospital? A tube of clear liquid hands on a hook beside her, a long vein connected to her arm. _What happened to me? Where am i?_

The boy appears again. Beside him is a beautiful woman with short black hair pulled behind her ear. They both rush to her side, the boy more quickly than the supposed Dr. Ayame.

"I see you've recovered, Lillian. I'm glad to see you're up and awake." The woman smiles at the young girl, and something about it makes her feel at ease. "Do you know what happened?"

The young girl shakes her head gently to prevent any dizziness she started to feel. She had no idea what happened and why she was here. "Was I in some sort of accident?" She says, her quiet voice coming out hoarse.

The doctor squints her eyes in suspicion. "Can you tell me your name?" She asks.

"Lillian," the girl responds, although unsure if that really was her name or not.

"When is your birthday?" The doctor asked, her suspicion growing. She waits for the girl to answer, but unfortunately only gets silence. "I was afraid of this," she says quietly. The boy looks at the doctor, realizing what she was thinking of. Fearing the doctor is right, he grips the edge of the chair.

"Do you know who I am?" He asks with desperation in his voice. The girl winces at the boy's loudness but doesn't reply. The boy slams his fist on the chair in anger or frustration; the girl can't quite tell.

"Kana! That's enough!" The doctor places a hand on the boy's shoulder, trying to calm him down. "I need you to wait in the hall. I'll be with you in a moment. I need to talk to Lillian." The boy, looking rather upset, obliges and steps out into the hall. The doctor sits beside the girl in the chair Kana slept in. "I'm sure all of this is confusing to you."

The girl makes eye contact with the doctor and nods. "Is he someone close to me?" She asks quietly. The doctor looks surprised by the girl's question but chuckles in response. "I believe he is. Or at the very least, you are to him. He found you hurt on the side of a tall ledge in the mountains. He blames himself for what happened."

The girl feels an ache in her chest. She had no recollection of said accident and already she felt sad for the boy. "What did happen? How did I get injured?"

The doctor glances at the door before answering. "He said he challenged you to a race on both your horses. He said he was going so fast that he lost sight of you. When you didn't reach the summit, he got worried and went back to look for you. That's when he found you."

The girl's mind races and her body aches at the story, as if it remembers the incident quite well. "How long ago did this happen?"

"A few days ago; you've been in a slight coma since. We've been running tests and monitoring you every day. Nothing was critical so it was only a matter of waiting for you to wake up."

"I see." The girl closes her eyes, forcing her mind to search for any memories, but instead her head starting to pound.

"I'll let you rest some more. We'll be keeping you overnight just to be sure you're well enough to return home tomorrow." The doctor stands at her feet and gives a brief nod before exiting the small room. She closes the door behind her and faces the tall man before her. His eyes are red and swollen, as though he had just cried.

"She has amnesia." The doctor says bluntly. She knows kana already figured it out, but she felt better saying it out loud. "The scans showed a slight concussion, so her memory loss shouldn't be permanent. I believe after a while her memories will start to return. Until then, I suggest not pressuring her to remember anything."

Kana paces around the hall, his mind a mess. "This is my entire fault. Her memories… gone because of me!" He clenches his fists and his shoulders tense. "No one is blaming you, Kana. We don't know what happened, but it's not healthy to beat yourself up over this. If anything, you're her hero. You saved her and brought her here."

"Hero? How am I a hero if she got hurt because of some stupid race? I shouldn't have run ahead. I should have stayed behind or not even have suggested the idea in the first place."

"Kana!" The doctor reaches out but the young Kana has already stormed out of the hospital. 


	3. I rememberyou

Chapter 2

 _I remember … you._

The young girl was sitting up in the hospital bed, gazing out the window watching villagers partake in their everyday activities. A few people she felt she recognized but she couldn't grasp a clearer picture in her mind of who they were or how she knew them.

"I see you're doing well," A soft female voice brings the young Lillian's attention to the room. Dr. Ayame stands in the doorway, a gentle smile resting on her face. "How are you feeling today?"

"I feel a little stronger than before. The medicine you gave me has helped with the aches I've been having." The girl fidgets with her blanket, unsure of what else to tell the doctor.

"Do you feel comfortable going home and finishing your recovery there? I know it's hard, having forgotten your memories. I'm sure being there will help you remember things."

"I guess," She says quietly. "It's just that I don't know where 'home' is."

"I do," A deep voice surprises both the young girl and doctor. "I can take you there."

"Kana," The doctor looks at the young man as he enters the room and towers over her. She returns to face the young girl who continues to stare at Kana.

"If it's okay, I'd like to take you home. I want to make sure you get there safely." He scratches the back of his head, a light pink overtaking his cheeks. Dr. Ayame chuckles quietly at the sight.

"If only I had someone who looked at me the way you look at Lillian," she whines playfully. Kana's face turns another shade red and the doctor can't help but laugh. "I'm only teasing, Kana." She pats the man's shoulder before leaving the room.

Lillian blushes as her eyes meet Kana's. _Is he my husband?_

Kana averts his eyes from Lillian's, regaining his manly composure. "Whenever you're ready, we can go." He refuses to look at her as he exits the room. Several minutes later, Lillian opens the door wearing a light pink dress. Her violet eyes sparkle in the sunlight peeking through the window and Kana can't help but want to touch her.

She gazes up at him, being a few feet shorter than him. _Why is she so damn cute?_ Kana thinks to himself. He clears his throat before opening the door. Doctor Ayame waves at the two as they exit. "Although losing her memories has a huge impact on their friendship, I hope it brings them closer," she whispers to herself.

The sun was bright and Lillian raises her arm to shield her eyes as they walk outside. Noticing, Kana stands beside Lillian, trying his best to block the sun's rays. "Thank you," Lillian says, a small smile teasing her lips.

"Yeah," Kana mumbles. The two walk down the dirt road leading north of the village into the area where Kana's house rests. He glances at his horses, all of them grazing the green summer grass. Lillian's horse, Snow, blends in with the rest.

A sudden blur catches him off guard and he spots Lillian rushing over to the fence. She breathes heavily, her body still recovering from the accident, but her face is bright. She watches the horses, and holds out her hand as if gesturing for them to come to her. Kana's chest tightens as he watches her smile at the animals. _She may have lost her memories, but she hasn't changed at all._

Snow is the first one to approach Lillian. She nuzzles her hand and whinnies happily that her owner has returned. The girl smiles and scratches the head of the horse happily. A scene flashes through the girl's mind of a small girl running around a field with a white foal chasing her. The girl trips and the foal began to chew at the girl's hair and she calls for the animal to stop.

"Snow," the girl says out loud. The pony whinnies and chews the hair of the young girl. She giggles and Kana's eyes go wide.

"You remembered her name." He says in disbelief.

The girl looks down at the ground, as though she's ashamed of something. The horse nuzzles the young girl, causing her to smile again. "I'll keep watch over Snow as you continue healing." Kana says and pats the mare's neck.

"Is this your ranch?" Lillian asks, continuing to pet her best friend.

"It is," Kana replies with a bit of sadness to his voice. "You would come here nearly every day and we'd ride together or you'd sneak treats to my horses without my knowledge. I even scolded you, worried they'd become overweight but you gave me the biggest pout when I told you to stop. I couldn't help but let you continue bringing them treats," Kana chuckles at the memory.

Lillian stands there quietly; briefly an image of Kana scolding her appears but is gone just as quick as it came. "I think I remember."

Kana looks at her with hope in his eyes. "You do?"

"I just remember your angry face," she says and giggles at how silly he looked.

His face grows warm at her sudden giggle. "Was I really that funny looking?"

"A little," she says with a smile. The sound of an owl announcing that it was getting late brings the two back to the matter at hand. "We'd better get going." Kana leans off the fence and walks back towards the road. This time checking to make sure Lillian is never too far behind him.


	4. Will you stay with me?

Chapter 3

 _Will you stay with me?_

"Here's your house." Kana places the key inside the doorknob and it clicks open. The smell of pine and cinnamon greet them and Kana always loved the way Lillian's house smelled. Lillian stepped into the small home, taking in her surroundings. "It's so.. cute!" She sang.

"What?" Kana watched the girl as she examined everything in her view. She traced her hand over the smooth wooden table resting in the middle of the floor, fluffed her pink pillow, opened her dresser, and finally checked the fridge.

"Do I really live here?"

"Yes," Kana couldn't understand why the girl was so excited about her own home, but then he realized having lost her memories, this home was brand new to her.

"I believe you. It looks like something I would want." She rests on the edge of her small bed.

"I better get going. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

The girl suddenly feels saddened by the boy's soon to be absence. "Probably," she says quietly. She dangles her feet off the bed, her toes lightly touching the wooden floor.

"That's not a sure answer," Kana rubs the back of his neck. _I don't want to leave her by herself, but I can't stay here with her. I'm just a stranger to her._

"I'm just down the road if you need me," he says and turns to exit the house. The sooner he leaves the easier it will be for him to not give in.

He feels a light tug of his vest; a gentle hand pressed against his back. "Wait," a small voice says.

He stands there, motionless at her soft touch.

"I know I can't remember much, but I don't feel afraid of you. I feel comfortable with you around me. To be honest, I'm terrified. I don't know who I am or where I am, but I feel like I know you even when I can't remember."

He looks over his shoulder to see her face pressed against his back, her shoulders twitching. He turns his body and pulls her close to him, the scent flowers emanating from her soft hair. "I'll keep you safe," he whispers into her hair, his eyes burning as he holds back tears.

She pulls away from him, her eyes puffy and pink. "Will you stay with me tonight?" Her small hands still cling to his vest. Kana hesitates before answering. "If you want me to."

The girl nods, releasing her grip. "Yes."

"I'll need to put the horses into the barn for the night and check on a few things. Will you be alright by yourself for an hour?"

The girl bites her lip but nods nonetheless. "Alright. Don't go anywhere," Kana places his hand on the girl's head; a habit of his.


	5. Triangle

Chapter 4

 _Triangle_

Kana ties his rucksack together after checking his belongings. Everything he could possibly need was tucked away safely for the night. The horses were in for the night and the house was locked. Kana heads back up the road but a familiar face stops him.

"Kana, I heard what happened to Lillian. How is she?" Dirk, the traveling mailman, stands in the middle of the branching road.

"She's fine," Kana said. He was a bit jealous of how close Dirk was with Lillian. He always greeted her on his way to deliver the day's mail. She'd come by every morning just when Dirk was leaving his tiny home.

"Thank goodness. I was busy with deliveries so I was unable to visit her in the hospital. Is she home yet?"

Kana wanted to lie to the mailman, but he knew it was wrong. Lillian wanted him to stay the night with her, not Dirk. "Yeah," he finally says. Dirk's face lights up. "Are you heading there right now? Mind if I follow you?"

"It's a bit late." Kana moves past the mailman but Dirk's eagerness kicks in. "I'll only say hi. Just want to check on her. That's all."

Kana sighs and carries on down the path, followed by an unwanted guest. The two reach Lillian's house and Dirk is the first one to the door. He opens the door a bit more enthusiastically than Kana expected and Kana races after him.

Lillian is fast asleep on the bed, her pink dress ruffled and her porcelain legs stretched across the bed. Her hair surrounds her like a halo against the pillow and her chest rises and falls with each steady breath. Dirk stops in the middle of the entry and Kana steps inside and quietly shuts the door.

"She's asleep," Dirk says, trying his best to whisper. "Duh," Kana says a bit rudely. Dirk frowns at him. "Do you have a problem with me?"

Kana rolls his eyes and places his rucksack on a chair. "What makes you think that?" Kana says with a hint of sarcasm rolling off his tongue.

"Gee, maybe the fact you're so sarcastic or tried to keep me from seeing Lillian." The whispering grows louder and Lillian stirs in the bed. "Quiet, you'll wake her up, idiot." Kana hisses through his teeth.

"Did I do something to make you angry?" Dirk steps closer to Kana. "Or maybe you don't like Lillian spending time with me."

"Shut up," Kana grunts in irritation. _This kid is really getting on my nerves._

"She's not your girlfriend, you know. She's free to talk to whoever she wants," Dirk presses his hands to his waist.

"Kana?" A sleepy voice silences the two boys. Lillian sits in her bed, her violet eyes staring at the two of them with confusion.

"Lily!" Dirk chirps. "I'm so glad you're okay!" He rushes over to her but the girl stares at the stranger. "What's wrong?" Dirk grabs her hand but she pulls it away quickly and gets to her feet.

"Leave her alone," Kana walks over to Lillian and she stands behind him.

"What's going on?" Dirk looks between the two, his eyes squinting in confusion.

"She's lost her memories." Kana says bluntly. He didn't want many to know but it seems there's no use in hiding it.

"She remembers you?"

Kana rubs his arm with his opposite hand. "Not exactly."

"So then what? Are you taking advantage of her in this state? Did you lie to her and tell her you're her boyfriend and to trust you?" Dirk steps closer to the two and reaches out for Lillian's arm and she cries out.

"Of course not!" Kana forces Dirk to let go but he refuses. "Let her go and I'll explain everything."

"I don't trust you!" Dirk pulls Lillian from behind Kana and her eyes widen in terror. She was truly terrified. Her eyes look towards Kana who stands there frustrated by the mailman's actions.

"I don't know you!" She cries and Dirk freezes. He looks at her and see's the terror in her eyes, knowing she's telling the truth. He releases his hold on her wrist and she stands there, frozen in shock.

"Kana was the first person I met when I woke up. I don't remember him, but I feel I can trust him. I've asked if he'd stay with me tonight." She rubs the raw area around her wrist as she speaks in a gentle tone.

"Why him though? If you don't remember him, how can you trust him?" His expression shows that he's hurt by her choice. "Do you really not remember me?" Dirk steps closer to her, hoping a glimmer of a memory of him will change her mind.

She stares at him, her hands held close to her chest. Her mind remains blank as she searches the boy's eyes. "No," she says after a moment of silence. Dirk steps back, his expression upset. "I've always greeted you, every single day. You're one of my best friends. My only best friend if I want to be honest. You were so friendly towards me when I moved here. I don't understand how you can forget something like that."

Kana steps in between the two. "I think that's enough for tonight. I understand it's hard for you to accept that she's forgotten who you are and your friendship, but I suggest you give yourself and Lily a break. She can't handle all of this. Not right now."

Dirk pulls his hat down to cover his face. "I just don't see how it's fair that you're the one who gets to be around her."

"I believe she already told you why," Kana scoffs. Although now isn't the time to be cocky, he couldn't help but feel happy Lillian wanted to be near him in her time of need.

"I'll have her remember me soon enough! Then I'll be the one to take care of her!" Dirk's eyes stare through Kana like daggers. He turns quickly and exits the house, slamming the door on his way out.

Kana turns to face Lily, whose face is covered with tears. Unsure of what to say, Kana just stands there awkwardly. Lillian wipes away the tears from her face. "I'm sorry," she mutters.

"Why should you be sorry? He's the one who threw a fit." Kana jabs a thumb in the direction of the door.

Lily looks at him, her eyes dark and sad. "Was he telling the truth?"

"Truth about what?" Kana's heart starts to race. Was she really going to listen to what that punk said?

"Are you going to take advantage of me?"

Kana stares at her with wide eyes. "That idiot," he mumbles. "I could never do that."

She stares at him cautiously. "I take back what I said today."

"What?"

"I don't want you here tonight."

His heart began to race, his chest tightening. Was she really scared of him because of what Dirk said? "Do you really believe a word that punk said?" Frustrated Kana's voice began to rise.

"Stop it!" Lillian forces her hands against Kana's chest and pushes him back. Shocked by her strength, Kana stands still. Unable to move or think of the right things to say, he reaches out his arm but the girl turns away from him. "Get out!" She yells.

"But I-" Kana steps towards the girl but she continues to tell him to leave. Upset and heartbroken, Kana grabs his rucksack and walks towards the door. His hand turns the knob and he opens the door. Standing there, he gives one more glance at the girl before stepping out into the darkness. A glimpse of her sobbing into her hands is the last thing he sees before closing the door.


	6. Cherry Blossoms

Chapter 5

 _Cherry Blossoms_

A day has gone by and Lillian hasn't left her small home. She curls her hand around her pillow stained with her tears. "I really wish I could remember," she mutters into her pillow. The dress from yesterday still rests on her body. Her hair is messy and jumbled into tiny tangles. Her stomach growls but she refuses to eat, afraid the trauma of last night will cause her to vomit.

A light knock on the door startles her, as did the frequent knocks she received throughout the day. A different voice sounds through the door. Her heart skips at the familiarity of it and a hinge of sadness takes over. _Kana_.

She listens to him as he speaks. She wants to see him. So badly does she want to see him but she's unsure if she can trust him. She barely knew him, or if anything he said to her was true. Then again, she barely knew the other boy named Dirk yet she took his words to heart.

The voice stopped speaking and the young girl quickly sits up. Her feet patter against the floor as she nears the door. She presses her ear to the door, but she doesn't hear anything. Craving to take a peek outside, she slowly opens the door only to be surprised by a hand reaching for the handle. Startled, she closes the door quickly and leans against it.

A sudden memory flashes in her mind.

" _Are you done yet?" Kana's voice rings out in another room._

" _Almost!"_

 _Lillian is tying the rest of her pink kimono together. The door opens and Kana peeks his head inside. Lillian rushes to the door and forces it closed with her back pressed to the door. "You jerk!" She yells but there's no real anger._

" _You were taking so long!"_

" _I'll be out in a second!"_

The memory fades and Lillian's head begins to spin. She steps away from the door and collapses to her knees, holding her head. Kana is by her side in an instant. "Are you okay?"

She looks up at him, her eyes a lighter shade of purple. "I remembered something."

Eager to know more, Kana instinctively place his hand on hers. She doesn't pull away, as if the touch gives her familiar warmth. "What was it?" He asks in a soft voice. The soft light of the remaining sun casts shadows through her room.

"I was in a room and I was wearing a pink kimono. You tried opening the door and I slammed it on you, like I did just now."

Kana remains quiet. Lillian places her other hand on top of his. "Tell me," she urges.

"It was the Cherry Blossom Festival. Everyone in town wore kimonos and you woke up late and rushed to my house with your kimono and treats for the horses. You handed the treats to me as you ran into my room to change. You had a difficult time putting on your kimono and I got impatient. I ended up walking in on you and you got embarrassed, causing you to slam the door in my face."

"When was this?"

"A season ago; it's nearing the end of summer now. You've lived here for almost two years."

 _I've lived here for nearly two years._

"Were we together?"

Kana's face begins to burn. "N-no," he manages to spurt out.

"Strange. It felt like we were a couple."

Kana's face burns even hotter, if that's even possible. He removes his hand from hers, forcing himself some space between Lillian and himself. _Why am I embarrassed by all of this? I'm used to be near her. Why is it so different now?_

"Is something wrong?" Lillian's eyes watch Kana as he looks around the room.

"N-nothing."

"Liar. You always look away when you're lying."

"No I do- Wait, how do you know that?"

"I just do," she says surprised at herself.

"Have your memories returned then?"

She shakes her head. "No, but somehow I just knew you were lying."

"Oh."

"Why are you here anyways?" She finally addresses his being there.

"Oh right. I came to check on you. I wanted to make sure you were okay, even though you were upset with me." Kana presses both hands against his knees. A habit he always did when he sat.

"You were worried about me?" She extends her body, using her arms to support her and her knees resting against the floor. She inches closer to him, and each time she moves Kana's heart beats faster.

"What are you-" Lillian's face is a foot away from his.

She gets closer, her hands near his feet and her head slowly moving towards his. He quickly scoots away and clumsily gets to his feet. Lillian falls to the floor laughing. "Are you embarrassed of being so close to me?" She says gazing up at him, her back against the hardwood.

"What? No. Of course not." He crosses his arms, hiding his blushing. "No way."

"People deny things so many times when they're lying!" Lillian teases.

"I'm not!" Kana turns around and Lillian is inches away from him. "It's okay to be honest." Her tone is serious and her eyes bore through him. Kana wants to deny everything but he knows she'll see the truth.

"I'm glad you're doing okay. I'm going home," He says, changing the subject. He can't tell her how he feels. Not when she doesn't remember him. He reaches for the doorknob but her hand grabs it first. She presses her body against the door, refusing to let him leave.

"Lily," he groans.

"You can leave after you answer my question."

"Depends on what it is."

"I'm not moving until you answer, regardless of what it is."

Kana remains silent and Lillian continues. "Before I lost my memories, were we really friends or did you want to be more?"

Kana's eyes widen at her question. _Why did she have to ask that?_ He looks away, unable to answer her. "I guess that means you're stuck here with me."

"What?" Kana looks at the girl, smiling as she presses her back to the door. Her hair is a mess and her dress is wrinkled and slightly dirty. Even so, Kana couldn't help but find her beautiful.

"You heard me. Since you won't give me an answer, that means you can't leave."

Frustrated, Kana reaches for the door and tries to open it but Lillian continues to force it closed. "Nu uh!" She teases but Kana can't keep up with her playful spirit.

He tries one more, this time causing Lillian to stumble and loosen her grip on the doorknob. Before she can retaliate, Kana is already out the door.


	7. Jealous?

Chapter 6

 _Jealousy_

Hands full of horse treats, Lillian makes her way towards Kana's house. Sure enough he's out in the pasture brushing one of the horses. As soon as he sees her, he looks towards the horse, unable to face her. _I totally dipped out on her last night. I can't tell her why._

Just as Lillian was about to wave, a male voice calls out from behind her. She turns around to see the young man from the other day. _What was his name?_

The boy eagerly approaches Lillian, hardly out of breath when beside her. "I'm glad I caught you, Lily." He smiles wide, two little dimples appearing on both cheeks. He seemed a bit upset and forceful the night Lillian first met him but now he seems friendlier. She watches him with curious eyes.

"Are you busy tonight?" The boy asks a bit nervously. His reaches his arm behind his head and his hand ruffles what hair spills beneath his hat. Lillian watches him quietly before speaking. "Why do you ask?"

The boy's eyes flick from her to the dirt floor beneath them quickly. "You probably still don't remember who I am, right? I'm Dirk. I deliver mail between the two towns here." He lowers his hand and it rests beside his thigh.

Lillian remains quiet as Dirk continues to stare at the ground. Just as Lillian decides to speak, a hand grabs hers. Startled, she drops the horse treats and they all scatter the ground. "Let's get tea at Grandma Yun's tonight just like we used to." His seafoam eyes are locked onto a pair of violets. Unsure how to respond, Lillian stands still. "Please," Dirk begs.

"Okay," Lillian says quietly. She wasn't afraid of Dirk, but his directness was a bit troubling. Dirk smiles once again and Lillian takes advantage of his happiness to remove her hand from his. "I have to get going. I'll see you around five." He waves before scurrying off into the main part of the town.

Kana leans against his fence having watched the two converse. By the smile on Dirk's face, Kana already knew he didn't like what they talked about. He watches Lillian lean down to pick up the treats, some of which had fallen apart as they impacted with the hard dirt. Kana returns to brushing Hayate in an attempt to look as though he hadn't seen her.

"Good morning, Kana," She says cheerfully. Lillian holds out one of the treats and the horse Kana was brushing snatches it from her hand. She giggles and the rest of the horses gather around her, each one waiting for their treat. Once her arms are empty, she giggles, her hair nuzzled by the horses wanting more. "I'm all out!" She says through giggles.

Kana watches her, his lips parting into a soft smile. "What's up?" _Act natural._

Lillian looks at Kana, his brown eyes meeting hers. "I thought that if I did some of things I did before I lost my memories, I might end up remembering more."

"I see. So making my horses fat is supposed to help you?"

"When you put it like that, you make me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing."

"I'm just teasing you. If you truly believe it will help you, I'm all for it."

Lillian continues to the pet the horses but an awkward silence ensues. Kana lowers the brush from Hayate and watches Lillian who seems to be doing the same with him. He quickly averts his eyes, afraid he'll say something he shouldn't.

"Dirk asked me to have tea with him tonight."

Lillan's honesty surprises him. _That's what they were talking about?_ A feeling of anger starts to build up inside Kana but he quickly dismisses it. "Yeah?" is all he can get out.

Lillan lowers her hand and her lips ease into a soft smile. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to go or not. I was a bit shaken up by his request, to be honest, but I didn't feel afraid of him."

She smiles wider as the horses nuzzle and chew her hair. Feeling a bit of jealousy in his heart, Kana tried to come up with an excuse to convince Lillian not to go. "I don't think it's a good idea," he says quietly.

Lillian's smile fades as her eyes fixate on Kana's stern face. "Why not?"

Kana's hand tightens around the brush while his brain works. "I just," he pauses for a moment, "I have a bad feeling about it."

"I know he's a bit direct, but I don't think he'll do anything," Lillian says.

"You didn't like him the other night, so I don't understand why you want to spend time with him now?" Kana's voice was beginning to rise.

"I was still in shock at that time. I didn't know who to trust."

"I don't see why you're defending him."

"I don't understand why you're getting angry."

"I'm not angry. I'm just looking out for you."

"Then why do you sound jealous?"

Upon hearing the word, Kana drops the brush and trudges towards his house. "Go if you want. I don't care," he says before closing his door with a bang.

It was nearing five in the evening and Lillian was waiting inside the teahouse. A few people greeted her, none of which she remembered. They heard of her accident and reintroduced themselves in her favor. Taking a sip of her green tea, Lillian couldn't stop thinking about Kana's reaction.

It was silly of him to be jealous of Dirk. Lillian thought of Kana in a different way. A way that felt intimate and comfortable. She smiled at the thought of the two of them.

"What are you smiling for?" A voice interrupts her daydream and Lillian nearly jumps in her chair.

"Dirk!" She gasps. He smiles at her while raising an eyebrow. "I hope I wasn't disrupting anything," he says sliding into the chair across from me.

"I was just thinking." Lillian lies.

Dirk spends the night telling Lillian some stories between the two of them in the past. Lillian found herself laughing at some of the tales. By the end of the night, she couldn't help but feel closer to Dirk than she thought.

"I had a really good time," She says with a giggle.

Dirk tilts his head and grins. "I'm glad. It really felt like old times."

Lillian stops laughing as a scene plays out in her head. She and Dirk are sitting on the fence beside her house. They're laughing when suddenly Dirk begins to leap around frantically swatting at the air. Lillian is laughing hysterically while Dirk screams. "Bee! Get it away from me!"

The memory fills Lillian with laughter. Dirk, curious at her outburst, joins in. "What's so funny?" he says gasping for air.

"I just remembered you're scared of bees!" Lillian wheezes. She continues to laugh. Dirk's face turns red but his lips continue to maintain a smile. "Out of everything you could remember, why did it have to be that?"

"I don't know."

Continuing laughing, the two walk down the path until it breaks in two. Dirk waves as he walks towards his house and Lillian hers. Once her house is in sight, Lillian spots a figure leaning against her door. She recognizes the dark outline as Kana.

"What are you doing here?" She asks confused. He was angry earlier today, so why was he waiting for her?

"I wanted to make sure you got home safely."

"Thanks for the concern," Lillian says bitterly. She trusted Kana, but his jealousy was out of hand. "Good night," she says before he can say anything else. She reaches past him and unlocks the door. As she turns the knob, a hand stops her and forces her to turn.

"I won't deny that I was a bit jealous today," Kana murmurs.

"A bit? You were beyond jealous." Lillian scoffs.

"Fine. I was really jealous."

"So you came here to admit you're jealous of Dirk?"

Kana's head shifts to their hands. He doesn't answer. Lillian decides to go inside but before she can, her lips are met with Kana's.

Eyes wide and shocked, Lillian gapes at Kana as he stands before her. The light of the moon illuminates his chiseled face. His dark eyes study her with compassion lurking deep inside.

"I shouldn't have done that," Kana mutters before letting Lillian's hand fall to her side. He backs away and runs off towards his house. Lillian calls out but it's already too late.


	8. Requitted Love

Chapter 7

 _Requitted Love_

Lillian couldn't sleep, not even a wink. She tosses and turns, her pillows thrown onto the wooden floor and her blankets a large heap against the footboard. "Stupid Kana!" She moans into her knees that are pulled up to her chin. Her eyes were puffy and irritated from her lack of rest. _It's all Kana's fault. Why did he have to kiss me?_

The scene of Kana kissing Lillian was on constant replay inside her head. The sky outside was gray and Lillian felt it was an appropriate match to how she felt. Grumbling to herself, she tries to look as lively as possible before heading out into the cool air. She needed to clear things with Kana.

Her feet drag as she treads her way into the village. She rubs her eyes as she nears Kana's ranch. She spots the horses grazing the yellowing grass. Gathering what energy she has left in her, she closes the gap between herself and the small enclosure. "Kana!" She calls out but hears no response. Lillian opens the gate letting herself in.

She calls out once more, this time she hears a voice respond from inside the barn. She takes in a breath before stepping inside the large building. Her eyes adjust to the darker interior and she sees Kana lifting a large hay bale off a small cart and tosses it into one of the pens.

Kana continues working, refusing to connect eyes with Lillian who stands a few feet away. She watches him as his muscles flex while lifting another bale and tossing it into a nearby pen. Her heart races and her mind is a mess. What should she say?

Kana tosses the last bale into a pen near the back of the barn. Removing some gloves and tossing them onto a small workbench, Kana hesitates before facing Lillian, still unable to look her in the eyes. She stands there, her hands lingering at her sides.

"Kana," she says quietly. "Why did you kiss me?"

Not wanting to answer the question, Kana sighs and scratches the back of his head. His brows draw together and his eyes appear darker than normal. "It didn't mean anything."

"You're lying!" Lillian says loudly. Kana's eyes widen at her denial. Their eyes finally meet and he sees tears starting to form. Her lips begin to quiver and her hands bunch up into tight fists. Lillian blinks as tears fall down her face.

Kana reaches out for her, but stops himself at the last minute. _Why did I kiss her?_

"What am I to you?" Lillian asks unexpectedly.

"Huh?"

"Am I just your friend or do you love me, Kana?" Lillian asks, her voice shaking.

 _What do I say?_ Kana searches his mind for an answer but comes up short. "I-" Kana stops himself.

Lillian stares at Kana, her eyes puffy and red. Lillian couldn't take the silence any longer. "I hate you!" She cries out. She swirls around, her feet hesitating to move. She could no longer face him. The tears continue to stain her cheeks and she tries to wipe them away.

"I-I kissed you because I didn't want to lose you again."

Lillian twists her head to glance over her shoulder. Kana's shoulders are tense and his face is warped with emotions. "Kana," Lillian whispers through pink lips.

"I-I love you, Lily. I have for a while. I just didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure you felt the same."

Kana's face becomes smooth and his eyes appear lighter. Lillian takes a step closer. She doesn't speak, but instead she lifts her hand and places it against Kana's cheek. He doesn't move as she settles a few inches away.

"I know I have lost my memories, but I feel as though I loved you too."

On impulse, Kana presses his lips against Lillian's soft, pink ones. She rests on her tippy toes, wrapping her arms around his waist. Memories begin to flow through her mind and she struggles to stand. She collapses to the ground along with a concerned Kana.

"Lillian, are you alright?"

"I think I just remembered everything," she says with a shortness of breath.


	9. Storm

Chapter 8

 _Storm_

Rain suddenly begins pouring outside the barn. Kana eagerly ushers his horses into the stable. The roar of thunder shakes the stable and Lillian jumps.

"I don't think it's safe for you to travel home right now. You might as well stay here." Kana peeks out into the storm outside and the rain is cascading down, flooding the ground with large puddles. He grabs Lillians hand and tugs her to follow him to his house. They reach the doorway and both of them are soaked down to the bone.

"I have some towels and spare clothes you can wear." He leaves her in the doorway and she stands there shivering in her wet clothes. The rain pounds against the rooftop. Kana returns with a brown towel and a nicely folded shirt and shorts. "They're the smallest sizes I have." He hands them to her and she holds them close. _They smell good._

"You can change in my room," Kana suggests. Quickly undressing, Lillian puts on the dry clothes, which of course are a bit too big for her. She tries her best to keep the shorts on despite how loose they were on her tiny frame. She tosses her wet clothes into a nearby sink and walks back out into the front room.

Glistening tan skin awaits her as she rounds the corner. Kana's back is facing her and his hair is down and sticking to his wet skin. She watches his muscles flex and twitch while he pats a towel over his body. Mesmerized by his build, Lillian can't help but feel her face flush with heat.

Kana senses her presence and quickly turns around. His chest is bare, aside from a few tattoos across his pectoral muscles. _How could I forget someone with a body like that?_

"What?" he says while wrapping the damp towel around his neck.

Snapping back her attention, Lillian speaks up. "I put my clothes in your sink. I didn't want to get your floor wet."

"That's fine. I'll take care of it later," Kana walks past her into his bedroom. He finds a t-shirt and puts it on. A bit of disappointment shows on Lillian's face but Kana is oblivious. "Looks like the storm will last through the night," Kana says.

Lillian nods as she stands next to the window, staring out into the storm. Although it was terribly dark outside, she continued scanning the area around them. Streets were flooded and branches and fence posts cluttered the ground. "Are these storms usually this scary?"

"I forget this is your first storm considering you've lived here a year. They're pretty nasty." Just as Kana finishes his answer, the lights begin to flicker before turning off completely. Kana curses under his breath. "I should have some candles around here." He opens a few cupboards before pulling out a couple large candles. He lights a candle and places it in the middle of the table. He walks beside Lillian and opens a large closet, holding sleeping mats and covers. "Isn't that your bed?" Lillian asks with curiosity.

"I have an extra for you." He pulls out two mats and places them side by side on the floor. Lillian sits down and pulls the cover over her for warmth. Kana stretches out beside her, propping his elbow on the pillow and resting his head against his hand.

Lillian reaches towards him and her fingers run through his hair. She continues running her hand through his dark hair, surprised by how soft it is compared to how rough it looked. "What are you doing?" Kana asks quietly.

"Your hair is so soft." She says almost in a whisper.

Kana's a bit pleased with how dark it is, being as she can't see his blushing cheeks. A flash lights up the room and Lillian quickly withdraws her hand and covers herself with the blanket.

"You're not spooked are you?" Kana teases.

"Shush," Lillian says beneath the blanket.

Thunder rumbles outside and she pokes her head out to find Kana's eyes. For a moment they stare at each other. Lillian wanted to be closer to him. She wanted to breathe him in. She's unsure of why she suddenly feels this way or why he had this effect on her.

"We should try to get some sleep." Kana blows out the candle and rests his head against the pillow, his back facing Lillian. Discouraged, Lillian attempts to close her eyes but of course the storm keeps her awake.

Warmth presses against Kana's back. He turns around, finding his face pressed against Lillian's. Her dark eyes look calm and she scoots closer to him for comfort. Instinctively, Kana pulls Lillian's small body against his. She nestles her head into his chest, his warm breath against her neck. Protectively, Kana's arms wrap around her body, his hand resting behind her head. He takes in her scent. Her hands slide under his shirt, exploring every rugged edge she could find. Her right palm rests in the middle of his chest, feeling his heart beating frantically against his ribcage.

She reaches for his hand and presses it against her chest, showing him her heart was beating just as fast. Kana quickly removes his hand. "What are you afraid of," she whispers into his neck.

She feels his chest rumble as he speaks. "I'm not used to being so close to you. Not like this."

"I want to be close to you. It feels right to me."

Without thinking, Kana pushes Lillian against the bedding. He gazes into her dark eyes, almost as though they're asking for something. Letting his urges take hold, he presses his lips against hers. His hands grip her shoulders as his body rests atop hers. Her hand plays with his hair, her fingers dancing through each strand with ease.

It takes all his willpower to pull away from her. Her hair is sprayed around her head and her tiny frame feels so fragile beneath him. "Don't stop," she murmurs. Kana shakes his head. "If I keep going, I won't be able to stop myself."

She places her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. Her eyes are begging for him to continue and he feels his body shaking the more he resists. He caves into his wants and his lips meet with hers. Her hands explore his body.

He pauses between kisses, removing a piece of clothing. His eyes take in her features, from the small perk of her nipples down to her hipbone. Unable to resist, his lips press against every inch of her body. She lets out soft moans with each touch of his lips.

Her breathing grows heavier and her fingers curl against the blanket. Kana presses his lips to hers once more, his hands massaging the inner parts of her thigh. Her head tilts back as his lips brush the side of her neck. Her hand wraps around his shoulder, her hand entangled in a web of his hair.

Flashes of Kana and Lillian scatter through her mind. Her memories continued flowing through her brain with each touch from Kana's hands. She stared up into his dark eyes. "I love you," she whispers. He leans closer to her. She pulls him close, her lips brushing his. "I love you, Kana."

"Lillian," Kana says with a smile.

"I remember everything," she interrupts. "I remember watching the stars with you and the lunar eclipse last fall. I remember you throwing snowballs at me in winter and sharing hot cocoa."

Unable to speak, Kana's lips replace words with actions as he pulls his body close to hers. His body and hers collide in a mess beneath the covers, each one showing how much they love each other through an embrace, neither one saying a word.


End file.
